More Nakedness. What can we say. We only give the public what they want.
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Local man arrested in string of public exposure complaints.
Break in Flasher Case
Suspect Identified in Seven Cases
Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)
A local man was arrested this morning in connection with a rash of public indecency complaints that ranged from Seattle to Tacoma over the past month.
Casey Jones was arraigned and released on $25,000 bond hours after he was apprehended in the Queen Ann district of Seattle.
Three women and four men identified Jones in a total of seven cases where the defendant allegedly approached groups of two or three people in broad daylight, and exposed his genitals.
He kept saying, "Poly want a cracker," said one witness who asked not to be identified. "He just kept saying that while he shook his penis in the air. Several people saw it. Then he ran away giggling."
A Kent man told police that the suspect walked up to him as he left a local restaurant with his wife, and opened his pants, singing, "I gotta be me", and making his penis move with the lyrics.
The district attorney's office claims this particular crime is on the rise in western Washington.
"We've seen this crime almost double over the past two years," said Earl Johnston, assistant city attorney. "Maybe it's an MTV thing---too many whackos watching Tom Green or something."
Psychiatric therapy to curb this behavior has not proven overly effective in the past, says Dr. Thomas Baldwin, a professor of psychiatry at Western Washington University. "This type of deviate simply enjoys this activity too much, and they're not put off by relatively light sentences."
One victim's husband told reporters candidly that he planned some retribution against Jones. "If I had been there," the husband continued, "I'd have shot (it) right out of his pants. These people need to be locked away. Enough is enough."
Casey Jones's attorney did not return our calls.
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