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Fake Newspaper NEW TOILET FACILITIES INSTALLED AT LOCAL WAREHOUSE

$9.99

Want to Make a Point?

 

It's "the Nineties".

Oops---It's even later than that.

Employees are working more for less.

Job security's a myth.

The perks have perked.

Get even.

 

Article Text Below, Feel free to copy and make changes to the story you submit to us. 

 

 Double-decker outhouse says "Management" and "Employees"

New Toilet Facilities Installed at Local Warehouse

A Joke in the Poorest Taste? Or Something More Sinister? 

Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)

An unlikely structure was discovered in front of the Acme warehouse in Kent, this morning. And no one seems to know how it got there.

Workers arrived for their early morning shift on Thursday to find a "double-decker outhouse" sitting in front of the customer load-out dock. On the top level, there is a sign which says "Management", and the sign on the lower unit, directly below that, reads: "Employees". The hole from the top unit empties directly onto the head of someone who might sit in the lower unit.

"This is in the poorest possible taste," commented Paul Johnson, an executive with the firm. "We can't believe that anyone would think this is funny."

Eric Smith, manager of the complex, vowed to get to the bottom of the stunt. "Whoever did this will pay the price," said Mr. Smith. "We have little management / employee disagreements from time to time, like any large company, but this....this is just disgusting."

Several hourly employees milled around the spectacle during their break periods. Most thought the whole thing was hilarious.

"This is in the best possible taste," John Walker chuckled. "I'd like to meet the man responsible for this and shake his hand."

Pete Ogden didn't quite agree. "This is just going to cause us trouble," he said. "Management will be out to get us for sure, now."

Secretary Carol Joy refused comment altogether, while Dave Smothers thought it was all just mild entertainment with no political agenda attached. "It's just good, clean fun," commented Mr. Smothers. "Personally, I think Gary James is responsible. That's what I've heard, anyhow."

Acme management was busily trying to make arrangements to have the "atrocity" removed and disposed of; however the outhouse remained as of press time.

"This is not good advertising," lamented one member of the management team who asked to be identified as "Caryl. "When I find the responsible party, there'll be some blood-letting. And you can count on it."

 

To create your own story from scratch,
using your own main image, please
click www.fakenewspaper.com instead of using this form. 

 

Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE 
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE

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