BUMPER STICKERS

Multiples of 12, by the sheet or cut
11.7 x 3 inches each, $23.95 / dozen uncut

We sell bumper stickers only by the dozen.

You may order a dozen individual stickers, cut and trimmed. Or, if you’re sickeningly CHEAP, you can order an “uncut sheet” of a dozen at a discount (see option during checkout). You’ll then cut out each sticker with a small, sharp hatchet, hacksaw, or possibly a pair of scissors. Why do we only sell by the dozen? Because our printers are too large to be efficient at printing one at a time, and because everytime “we” make up a bumper sticker, we find that we end up putting one on our vehicle, another on a co-worker s vehicle, one or two on the neighbor’s car in the middle of the night, and we’ll give some away to friends or family who want to do the same irresponsible kinds of things.We have hundreds of sticker designs but no time to post ’em — and there’s virtually no money in selling bumper stickers in any case. We offer them here only because we make many for ourselves and friends, and the machinery and software is always in place.

In the form below you can specify your text, OR upload your own design (one or the other). If you choose to upload your own design, please set your document size at 11.7 x 3 inches (landscape mode), and the resolution at no less than 100 dpi (300 dpi is better). We may slightly adjust your image so it will repeat as needed across our large sheets. Please do your final save (the final save ONLY) as a .JPG bitmap, at 100% quality, and upload that using the form below.All stickers are UV Pigment printed onto water-resistant white vinyl with a self-adhesive backing and a matte front, etc., etc..

If you submit a plain text string to be printed, we may or may not dress your text up a little (see below), depending on our present state of boredom and available time, and whether or not we fall in love with your sticker idea. If it’s reeking dog poo, or if we just don’t have time to make it cool, you’ll get only what you pay for (plain text with no embellishments).

REMEMBER: Simpler is ALWAYS better. The form below allows for up to three lines of text, at 40 characters per line with a total set at 90 characters including spaces. That would produce a VERY crowded and “busy” bumper sticker. We suggest no more than two (2) lines of no more than 25 characters each, but of course the CUSTOMER is ALWAYS right. Snarf.

You’ll find a few bumper stickers below that we’ve made for fun — for friends, the rear bumpers of ex-friends, soon-to-be-ex-friends, ex-bosses, ex-wives, ex-girlfriends, Glenn Beck, anyone named Hannity, O’Reilly, Obama or Pelosi, etc. These probably aren’t for sale — chances are they were a one-off, spur of the moment deal for some radical ne’r-do-well / malcontent who stopped by and we didn’t even save the graphic file after we capitulated to their threats and printed the sticker. We do NOT necessarily agree with or condone ANY of the sentiments displayed below (chances are we don’t agree with ANY of them), but we continue to post them here mostly to cause trouble, to stir up overly-emotional liberals and conservatives, and to bait fanatics in, in hopes they’ll flame us with some truly uninformed, bug-eyed shrieking rant, which we’ll eagerly post somewhere below along with their IP address and ISP. Now THAT……is ENTERTAINMENT.

We receive emails from around the world from folks who figure if we only knew about “their” killer bumper sticker idea, we’d surely be rich because no idea in the universe is better than theirs. Here are just a few of the ideas we’ve received since 1998. NONE of these are our ideas. We hold the copyright on nothing in this growing list. We post them here merely as seed for thought in thinking up your own custom bumper stickers. We have not read more than about 1% of these, so if you see something offensive, please let us know.