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Surf Bums Get All the Gurls



Thirty foot curlers in Washington State or New York Harbor? Naw... But if it's in print, it must be true. See how long you can keep 'em going at the local pub. Our guess? Forever.


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 Local man shows talent

Biggest Surf in 40 Years Hits Washington Coast

Only the bravest and most intrepid surfers try these waves 

Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)

The biggest surf in over 40 years hit the central Washington coast over the weekend, sending many to watch, few to surf.

"This is big, big stuff," said one man who stood on the beach with board in hand---but who never went in the water.

"The sets in this part of the world come much closer together," said Casey Jones, one of the few who did surf. "A 30 foot wave here is much more challenging than a 30 footer in the lower latitudes. This is some heart-stopping stuff out here today," he grinned.

Casey says he's a "mid-level" surfer, but many who called themselves experts or pros never got their feet wet, saying they "just weren't used to conditions in this part of the world." A prudent stance, perhaps.

The Coast Guard station at Westport publicly announced that surfing was "not advised" in current conditions. "We see very few surfers this far north," said Petty Officer John Hanks. "We're not really equipped to deal with emergencies involving swimmers in the surf. The beach has no lifeguards, and by the time we got a rescue 41 (footer) out there, it would almost certainly be too late."

Those intrepids like Casey Jones said they accepted the risks.

"We're not asking to be rescued," he said. "We're out here on our own, and we'll take our chances. Thanks for the concern though!"

The mammoth conditions only lasted about six hours. When the tide changed, the seas calmed, and even the tourists went home.

See El Nino Lingers Page D-5


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Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE 
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE