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Murder and Mayhem

 We were asked if there was a way to help an angry woman vent her marital frustrations. 

We're told this lady's man behaved like a little gentleman after he found this on the coffee table.



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Body Parts Found in Suspect's car

Local Woman Sought in Grisly Homicide


Suspect Believed Still in Area


Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)


On a routine traffic stop Thursday night, police discovered the remains of what appears to be a Caucasian male. A female, Casey Jones, is being sought by police in connection with the grisly crime.


"I performed a routine stop about 7 p.m.," says patrolman Amos Blackfield. "I wasn't expecting anything unusual. When the suspect's car had almost come to a stop, a woman bailed from the driver's seat and disappeared into thick brush off of Maple Road. I called for backup and then went on foot pursuit, but she had slipped away in the twilight."


The officer returned to the suspect's car and was shocked to find a number of body parts in plastic bags on the passenger side floor.


"We discovered two feet, two eyes, one hand, and some miscellaneous organs, you know, a lung, a liver, and whatnot," stated Detective Jorgenson. "I really can't comment beyond that. We don't know where the rest of this person is. We need the suspect to tell us that. We're hoping this girl will just come in and talk to us."


The partial body is presumed to be that of the suspect's husband, who did not show up for work Tuesday and was reported missing by his family.


Ms. Jones's co-workers expressed only mild surprise at the incident.


"We knew she was capable of something like that," stated Dave Brown, a truck driver employed by Casey's company, Dart International. "We've all had some pretty scary encounters with her. She's always made me uneasy. She used to keep little dolls in her desk drawer. Dolls with no heads. She was unbalanced. We all knew it."


Another employee, who asked to be called "Timmy", suggested that Casey's husband might have deserved such a gruesome end. "It's pretty clear to us that Casey had something going with her boss, and together they off'ed the husband. He wasn't much. That's what we all think, anyhow."


A $2000 reward has been offered for Casey Jones, by the family of her husband.


"We'll git thet bitch," commented a distraught family member. "She can run, but she can't hide."


Anyone having information as to the whereabouts of Casey Jones should contact Kent Police immediately.


"We believe Ms. Jones is armed with a rather large knife. And it's obvious she's extremely callous and dangerous," a police spokesperson said. "Don't try to apprehend this woman yourself."


See "Women: Violent Killers" Page D-5


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