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So. You saw a bright light. Two Hours are missing. And the X-ray shows.....

Well, you know the story. Send this to those pesky cousins in Alberta. Tell 'em you have "powers". 


Article Text Below, Feel free to copy and make changes to the story you submit to us. 

 Foreign object embedded in spinal column 

Mystery Object Removed in Two Hour Procedure

Doctors Baffled; "We Have No Idea What this is."

Yourtown---- (NOTICE: Any names of towns, locations, people, institutions, etc., used in these sample fake newspaper stories, are purely fictional, chosen at random, and are not meant to portray or represent any real person, place or deed. Remember that no matter what name a writer chooses to use in any fictional story, there is a real person (or many persons) SOMEWHERE who have that exact name.)

A Boise man says he suffered from back pain for years. Sometimes he had trouble walking. Sometimes he missed days at work. And once in awhile, he couldn't even get out of bed.

"The doctors said this, then they said that," complained Casey Jones. "They tried muscle relaxers, heat therapy, they made me exercise and stretch. Nothing worked. I figured I was just one of those people who had chronic back pain and would always have it."

But one day Jones's luck changed. After appealing to nearly a dozen doctors over the years, Jones ended up the victim of a hit and run fender bender. He had a stiff neck, and went to the doctor for X-rays. Those X-rays revealed something more serious than a pulled muscle.

The two ounce "device" was removed from Jones's spinal cord without incident.

Doctors said, "We have no clue what this object is. We don't dare even speculate."

See The Aliens Among Us Page D-5


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Whole Size is a two-sheet, eight-page WHOLE newspaper WITH HEADLINE
Poster Size is HUGE, printed on stiffer poster stock; one page WITH HEADLINE
Small Size is SMALL -- roughly a 6 x 9 inch "Pocket Clipping" with NO HEADLINE 
Tabloid is tabloid sized, smaller than the Enquirer; one sheet, two pages each WITH HEADLINE
Full size is one full page, NOT one full SHEET; it's an INSIDE half-sheet page with NO HEADLINE

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Customer Reviews

Based on 1 review
Hector S. Byrd
Best way to scare your parents!!!

LMFAO my brother told me to order this one right after he got into an accident and went on an operation. I mean, he just wanted to scare off our parents and they actually believed it. Not that I can't blame them, the newspaper looks waayyyyyy too real. Thanks for the prank you guys :)