Fake Certificates (40)

“Kevorkian Gift Certificates” Give the Gift that Keeps on Giving. …For that “Special Someone”… Item Number — FC-86 You’ll Receive Two (2) Identical Personalized Certificates Note: Border color and/or design may differ slightly from sample Item FC-86 The gold seal is raised and embossed. Of course, the big, fat Copyright mark that appears across the middle of the article is removed for you. Some folks might get the idea we don’t like Dr. Kevorkian. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In point of fact, we have the greatest respect for the man, and for his beliefs. We agree with his philosophies. We support his opinions. We just wish he would have had the insight to hire an attorney! But then, almost certainly, so does he. By making this purchase, you agree that you understand that these are practical jokes, and you also agree to use them in a responsible manner, to never use them illegally, or even immorally. If you’re intent is to send one to your favorite sleazy politician, it is your responsibility to make sure they understand it’s a joke. You (probably) don’t want the Secret Service knocking on your door—or more likely, bashing it in and beating the hell out of you. Some folks may not have a refined and sophisticated sense of humor like you and us. Item Number — FC-86  $16.95 for Two

For the Spoiled Brat in your life… Jennifer Wilbanks Spoiled Brat Award Jennifer Wilbanks Runaway Bride Products The Jennifer Wilbanks Spoiled Brat AwardItem Number — FC-87 Jennifer Wilbanks. Spoiled Brat. The end. Certificates are personalized with: RECIPIENT’S Name Gold seal is pressure-embossed (not printed) and reads: CERTIFIED WORLD RECORD. 8.5 x 11 inches. Printed on heavy glossy stock See also: Jennifer Wilbanks Fake Newspaper Article See also: Jennifer Wilbanks Fake Newspaper Article We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc.. FC-87, “Spoiled Brat Award” generally ships within 1-2 days. What our customers say about us. $16.95 for 2

We recognize that a “pet” can be as important—even more important in someone’s life than family, or “friends”… We don’t know why everyone doesn’t understand this. Pet Birth Certificates Your children all have Birth Certificates— And they don’t even call you! Giving a Pet as a Gift? Then You Need One of These! Item Number — FC-36 If you bought your pet from a pet store you probably got a receipt, or maybe a crappy, fake-looking “birth certificate” that was designed by some store employee as a novelty gag to placate us more serious pet owners. We’ve always found them tacky, bordering on insulting. You may not even know your pet’s birth date, but you can signify one day to symbolize it (just like we do with Christmas). Our pets are important to us; more so than we’re prepared to admit. A Birth Certificate is the best way to remind you when your pet’s birthday is coming up, and that you should do something special. Your pet won’t have a clue it’s its birthday (probably not, anyway), but it will know that you’re doing something special for it, and shouldn’t you do something special more often? A pet Birth Certificate helps you celebrate the life of a good pet, and helps you remember it as a special creature, when it’s gone. Please also see “Pet Memorial Certificates” Certificates are personalized with: Pet Name. Type of pet (dog, cat, ferret, goldfish, horse, buffalo, parrot, etc.). One or two names of “owners” (we prefer the term “guardians”). Month, day and year of birth. Birthplace. Two blanks for signatures. “A Unique and welcome gift for any pet lover…” Printed on actual security paper with UV fibers and a universal watermark that signifies animal health and care. The Gold seal in the upper left is pressure-embossed. Measures 8.5 x 11 inches. We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc.. FC-36, “Pet Birth Certificate” generally ships within 1-2 days. What our customers say about us. Certificates and Other Kinds of Things $16.95 for 2 identical copies Item Number — FC-36

Fake Certificates are $16.95 and Measure 8.5 x 11 Inches You’ll Receive Two (2) Identical Certificates May be used to replace the boring certificate issued by most statesOr use as a gag wedding or shower gift Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stamp in the upper left These are not legal documents and will not be accepted by any government agency as such. The spaces in the original version of this document were always handwritten—not typed. This certificate may only be ordered BLANK. People often ask us, “How real do these certificates look, anyhow?” There’s no way to answer that since everyone’s idea of “authentic” is different. In some cases we didn’t try to make them look authentic. People also often ask if fake marriage certificates are “legal”. Legal to own for fun? Yes. (but check your local laws to be sure) Legal to use for fraudulent purposes? No. Our fake marriage certificates are offered for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and are so stamped. We can’t control what you do with them when you receive them, and we’re not liable for your actions. If we sell you a pretty polished rock, and you go out and throw it through someone’s window, we’re not liable for that, either. These certificates are designed for couples who were disappointed (even appalled) at the poor quality of the certificates issued to them by the state. We just wanted to offer something nicer. Or weirder. Or fun-ner. This particular certificate may only be ordered BLANK This item may NOT be personalized WARNING: This item ships to the REGISTERED BILLING ADDRESS ONLY!

Certificates are $16.95 and Measure 8.5 x 11 Inches You’ll Receive Two (2) Identical Personalized Certificates Intellectual Achievement Certificates(I.Q., Intellectual Quotient Certificates) What our customers say about us. Item Number — FC-26 Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stamp Item Number — FC-26

Fed up? Have you evolved spiritually beyond the silly antics of Earth-bound humans? Graduate from Earth! What does this mean? It means that when you “pass”, you won’t have to be reincarnated into a life back on Earth. You’ll go “somewhere else”, presumably a nice and happy place where beings are evolved, where they’re honest and true and smart. We’re not talking “Heaven”, because perfection sounds pretty boring. We’re talking a whole new life on another planet, or possibly a much cooler parallel universe. Maybe even Zeta Riticuli. Or Mars. We’re not sure exactly where you’ll go, but this certificate will keep you from coming back HERE, and isn’t that all that matters…. Item Number — FC-44 For Entertainment Purposes Only, of Course… Image depicts a texture which is printed onto smooth stock. Media is not textured. Gold seal in lower left is pressure-embossed onto certificate, not printed. FC-44, “Graduate from Earth” generally ships within 1-2 days. Certificates and Other Kinds of Things Item Number — FC-44

Certificates are $16.95 and Measure 8.5 x 11 Inches You’ll Receive Two (2) Identical Personalized Certificates Personalized Committed Relationship Certificates Item FC-02 Please email the following data along with your order (may be ordered blank): (1) Names of both victims –er, PARTIES(2) Date Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stampThe item number is FC-02. “Committed Relationship Certificate” generally ships within 1-2 days. 

This is the (mildly) RisqueVersion of the EverPopular Document (the original version can be found HERE) Remember That Time You Jay-Walked? Sweep the Slate Clean with a Personalized Presidential Pardon! You’ll Receive Two (2) Identical Personalized Certificates Note: Border color and/or design may differ slightly from sample The lower right of the document is actually embossed with raised lettering (like a notary stamp) which says: “President of the United States of Amurica” (actual spelling). $16.95/2 ORDER CODE: C-85 The White House watermark has been changed to the Leaning Tower of Pisa to more accurately reflect the state of our Nation (ponderous and top-heavy). The Presidential Seal has a zipper. And at the bottom to the right of Bill’s signature, he says, “Hi Monika!” Silly? Yes, the man’s documentably silly. The original text of this document was pretty boring. So we spiced it up so it more closely approximates what might have been said had our leader taken an honesty pill that day. Here’s what it says in this version: Now Therefore, I, William (Billy Bob) Clinton, President of the United States and Grand Emperor of the Known Universe, Pursuant to the God-Like Powers Conferred Upon Me by My Friends in High Places and Monica Lewinski, in Consideration of the Sum of $350.00, Including But Not Limited to “Other” Intangible Favors, Perks, Services, Gratuities, Promises, Deals and Silences, Have Granted and by These Presents Do Grant a Full, Free and Absolute Pardon Unto (Your Name Here), for All Offenses Against the United States, the Laws of Nature, and the Animal Kingdom, Which He, (Your Name Here), Has Committed or May Have Committed or Taken Part In, or May Commit in the Future. In Witness Whereof, I Have Hereunto Set My Soft, Sweaty Hand this Twentieth Day of January, in the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and One, and of the Independence of the United States of America the Two Hundred and Twenty Fifth. Copyright © 2001 TrixiePixGraphics.Com Now some folks might get the idea we don’t like President (ex) Clinton. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In point of fact, we have the greatest respect for the man, because he was, by far, THE most entertaining President we’ve ever had. We’ve altered the format from the Pardon to, well, frankly, make it a little more attractive and official looking. The original actually looks a little like a note from the Principal’s office. You supply your name, and we insert it seamlessly into the document. Our certificates measure 8.5 x 11 inches. They’re worthy of being framed (frames not included). Certificate Number FC-85

Natural Selection is Alive and Well (Charles Darwin Award) Charles Darwin Award Item Number — FC-48 Who the heck is Charles Darwin and why do you want to receive an award from him? First: You don’t want to receive an award from him! Of course he’s long-dead and rotted, so it wouldn’t come directly from him anyhow (one hopes)—it would come from a fair-weather friend, a cranky neighbor, back-biting in-law, evil secret admirer, a stalker, an enemy, your nemesis, your wife, your boss, your kids, your parents, your legal guardian, your psychiatrist, your tax attorney, your divorce lawyer, your banker, etc. Charles Darwin was the guy who came up with the Theory of Evolution. The theory goes that animals (us) evolve from lower beings to (so-called) higher beings — always have, and always will. The theory is diametrically opposed to the notion that we’re all the misbegotten spawn of a couple of horny teenagers, Adam and Eve. Lots of folks believe the human race was just sort of plunked down upon the Earth by Adam and Eve, and that we’re pretty-much the same now as when we hatched a Gazillion years ago. Lots of folks think the world is flat, too. In the end, it doesn’t matter if you believe in the Theory of Evolution or not. This is all a joke. By virtue of its very name (t-h-e-o-r-y), it’s not necessarily fact. Heck—we don’t believe in either Adam & Eve OR the Theory of Evolution. We know that we hatched from alien eggs at Area 51 two years ago December. So what would you do with one of these certificates if you had one? Consider this: Most of the crew at TrixiePixGraphics rides motorcycles (or flies airplanes of questionable structural integrity). We do so because we like them. We like them because they’re fun. They’re fun because they go fast and they offer almost unprecedented freedom. The trouble is, they (speaking of motorcycles) are so incredibly dangerous in today’s traffic that a person would have to be downright stoopid to ride one. No sane or intelligent individual rides a motorcycle on today’s highways. That means that, pretty-much, we are too stupid to live. If we were living in caveman days, we’d be the people out there taunting the Leopards, poking them with sticks to see what they’d do, teasing the King Cobras, riding the Rhinoceri — in short, we’d be what we like to refer to as “Lion Fodder”. We’d be the first ones eaten, and that means we’d have no offspring to pass along those faulty, trouble-making genes. We would be prime, classic examples of “Natural Selection“, and we’d sure as Hell deserve a Charles Darwin Award. So who’s eligible to receive this handsome certificate?You gotta ask yourself:“Who most elegantly demonstrates the theory of Natural Selection?” Your kids who drive too fastPeople slowly frying their brains on drugsYour friends who ride motorcyclesYour friend, the pilotYour friend who breaks his/her leg sliding down an icy slope on a stick of woodYour Husband who aggravates you when you’ve got PMSAll bicycle couriersAll skateboardersSkydiversBill ClintonOsama Bin LadenSaddam HusseinMartha StewartYou get the idea… Certificates are personalized with:Monkey’s RECIPIENT’S Name Date(the name and date font is made up of little bones)Gold seal is pressure-embossed (not printed). 8.5 x 11 inches.Printed on heavy glossy stock Got a friend or relative who’s done something really freaking stupid?Then you know what you have to do:Honor ’em with a DARWIN AWARD! We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc..FC-48, “Charles Darwin Award” generally ships within 1-2 days. What our customers say about us. Item Number — FC-48

Certificates are $16.95 and Measure 8.5 x 11 Inches You’ll Receive Two (2) Identical Personalized CertificatesItem Number — FC-42 For Someone You Care About… A Certificate Granting Unlimited Lives (Well, hopefully, anyway…) Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stamp We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc.. The item number is FC-42. “Unlimited Lives” generally ships within 1-2 days. What our customers say about us. Item Number — FC-42

How’s Your Love Life? Is it Hot? Or Not? YOU know. But does your Significant Other know how you feel? Are you SURE? Lack of communication is one of the biggest relationship killers.One person thinks one thing and goes along thinking they know what the other person thinks, when half the time the other person doesn’t even know what they think, let alone what the first person thinks. Both people think the other person will tell them what they think if they think there’s a problem.But guess what?Even though we don’t think so, we’re cowards! This little “passive communicator” gimmick gives each person the opportunity to sneak into the kitchen in the middle of the night and move the little magnets around to reflect how they really feel. You might be shocked to finally know what your mate’s actually thinking, and this is the most painless way for each to learn how the other feels. Have they done something really stoopid lately? Something exceptionally nice? Let ’em know! Caution: We recommend you start out with most of your magnets near the tops of all categories. Then, over the next week or two, gradually move them where they belong. Too much of a shock right off the bat can cause more harm than it cures! Size: 8.5 x 11 inches. Water resistant. This glossy magnetic mat sticks to any ferrous surface (refrigerators, stoves, cabinets, etc.). Number FC-21

You'll Receive Two (2) Identical Certificates May be used to replacing the boring certificate issued by most states Or use as a gag wedding or shower gift Fake Marriage Certificate Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stamp in the upper left These are not legal documents and will not be accepted by any government agency as such People often ask us, "How real do these certificates look, anyhow?" There's no way to answer that since everyone's idea of "authentic" is different. In some cases we didn't try to make them look authentic. People also often ask if fake marriage certificates are "legal".  Legal to own for fun? Yes. (but check your local laws to be sure) Legal to use for fraudulent purposes? No.   Our fake marriage certificates are offered for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and are so stamped. We can't control what you do with them when you receive them, and we're not liable for your actions. If we sell you a pretty polished rock, and you go out and throw it through someone's window, we're not liable for that, either. These certificates are designed for couples who were disappointed (even appalled) at the poor quality of the certificates issued to them by the state. We just wanted to offer something nicer. Or weirder. Or fun-ner. Certificates may be ordered blank, or completed with any data you provide. If you want any of the fields left blank, just type NONE. We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc.. "Fake Marriage Certificate" generally ships within 1-2 days.    WARNING: This item ships to the REGISTERED BILLING ADDRESS ONLY! More original than a musty old greeting card, the perfect replacement for birthday cards, way more fun than a silly eCard, and one or two of our selections might even get you out of writing that MUSHY LOVE POEM... fake marriage certificate, pretty marriage certificate, personalized marriage certificate, certificate of matrimony, certificate of marriage, bogus marriage certificate, make your own marriage certificate, marriage certificates of movie stars, marry a movie star, surprise your mother, aesthetically pleasing marriage certificate, document recovery of damaged documents and marriage license.     

You'll Receive Two (2) Identical Certificates May be used to replacing the boring certificate issued by most states Or use as a gag wedding or shower gift Fake Marriage Certificate Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stamp in the upper left These are not legal documents and will not be accepted by any government agency as such People often ask us, "How real do these certificates look, anyhow?" There's no way to answer that since everyone's idea of "authentic" is different. In some cases we didn't try to make them look authentic. People also often ask if fake marriage certificates are "legal".  Legal to own for fun? Yes. (but check your local laws to be sure) Legal to use for fraudulent purposes? No.   Our fake marriage certificates are offered for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and are so stamped. We can't control what you do with them when you receive them, and we're not liable for your actions. If we sell you a pretty polished rock, and you go out and throw it through someone's window, we're not liable for that, either. These certificates are designed for couples who were disappointed (even appalled) at the poor quality of the certificates issued to them by the state. We just wanted to offer something nicer. Or weirder. Or fun-ner. Certificates may be ordered blank, or completed with any data you provide. If you want any of the fields left blank, just type NONE. We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc.. "Fake Marriage Certificate" generally ships within 1-2 days.   WARNING: This item ships to the REGISTERED BILLING ADDRESS ONLY! More original than a musty old greeting card, the perfect replacement for birthday cards, way more fun than a silly eCard, and one or two of our selections might even get you out of writing that MUSHY LOVE POEM... fake marriage certificate, pretty marriage certificate, personalized marriage certificate, certificate of matrimony, certificate of marriage, bogus marriage certificate, make your own marriage certificate, marriage certificates of movie stars, marry a movie star, surprise your mother, aesthetically pleasing marriage certificate, document recovery of damaged documents and marriage license.     

You'll Receive Two (2) Identical Certificates May be used to replacing the boring certificate issued by most states Or use as a gag wedding or shower gift Fake Marriage Certificate Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stamp in the upper left These are not legal documents and will not be accepted by any government agency as such People often ask us, "How real do these certificates look, anyhow?" There's no way to answer that since everyone's idea of "authentic" is different. In some cases we didn't try to make them look authentic. People also often ask if fake marriage certificates are "legal".  Legal to own for fun? Yes. (but check your local laws to be sure) Legal to use for fraudulent purposes? No.   Our fake marriage certificates are offered for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and are so stamped. We can't control what you do with them when you receive them, and we're not liable for your actions. If we sell you a pretty polished rock, and you go out and throw it through someone's window, we're not liable for that, either. These certificates are designed for couples who were disappointed (even appalled) at the poor quality of the certificates issued to them by the state. We just wanted to offer something nicer. Or weirder. Or fun-ner. Certificates may be ordered blank, or completed with any data you provide. If you want any of the fields left blank, just type NONE. We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc.. "Fake Marriage Certificate" generally ships within 1-2 days.   WARNING: This item ships to the REGISTERED BILLING ADDRESS ONLY! More original than a musty old greeting card, the perfect replacement for birthday cards, way more fun than a silly eCard, and one or two of our selections might even get you out of writing that MUSHY LOVE POEM... fake marriage certificate, pretty marriage certificate, personalized marriage certificate, certificate of matrimony, certificate of marriage, bogus marriage certificate, make your own marriage certificate, marriage certificates of movie stars, marry a movie star, surprise your mother, aesthetically pleasing marriage certificate, document recovery of damaged documents and marriage license.    

You'll Receive Two (2) Identical Certificates May be used to replacing the boring certificate issued by most states Or use as a gag wedding or shower gift Fake Marriage Certificate Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stamp in the upper left These are not legal documents and will not be accepted by any government agency as such People often ask us, "How real do these certificates look, anyhow?" There's no way to answer that since everyone's idea of "authentic" is different. In some cases we didn't try to make them look authentic. People also often ask if fake marriage certificates are "legal".  Legal to own for fun? Yes. (but check your local laws to be sure) Legal to use for fraudulent purposes? No.  Our fake marriage certificates are offered for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and are so stamped. We can't control what you do with them when you receive them, and we're not liable for your actions. If we sell you a pretty polished rock, and you go out and throw it through someone's window, we're not liable for that, either. These certificates are designed for couples who were disappointed (even appalled) at the poor quality of the certificates issued to them by the state. We just wanted to offer something nicer. Or weirder. Or fun-ner. Certificates may be ordered blank, or completed with any data you provide. If you want any of the fields left blank, just type NONE. We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc.. "Fake Marriage Certificate" generally ships within 1-2 days.   WARNING: This item ships to the REGISTERED BILLING ADDRESS ONLY! More original than a musty old greeting card, the perfect replacement for birthday cards, way more fun than a silly eCard, and one or two of our selections might even get you out of writing that MUSHY LOVE POEM... fake marriage certificate, pretty marriage certificate, personalized marriage certificate, certificate of matrimony, certificate of marriage, bogus marriage certificate, make your own marriage certificate, marriage certificates of movie stars, marry a movie star, surprise your mother, aesthetically pleasing marriage certificate, document recovery of damaged documents and marriage license.