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Full Size Newspaper Measure 13 X 23 inches Full Size is a regular newspaper, but cut in half.  Quantity 1 comes with 2 copies. Quantity 2 comes with 4 copies. How do I order? 1: Look through the sample photos and choose a template. (please note the names of the templates do not print on your newspaper, they are there for reference only)  2: Fill in the forms with your information. 3: Click Add to Cart. Done! You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You do NOT have to supply your photo, but it's better if you can (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated story text to complete the look and feel of perfect authenticity. Keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums. Send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, soon-to-be ex-friends and various and assorted victims! A Common Question: Will you edit or fix my mistakes? No. We don't anymore. In most cases, when we corrected someone's spelling, punctuation or grammar while setting up the template to print, we received a nasty email back from the customer a week later, explaining that "Grammmy" really was spelled with three M's in THEIR part of the country, or that they left that comma out on purpose, or that Billy Ray was one word, not two, or that "nuclear" was actually spelled nucluler" in eastern Florida, etc. You simply MUST proof-read your story before submitting it, and have a friend or relative proof-read it as well. Twice. Or more.  But what if something you send us doesn't make sense? Won't we certainly correct it THEN? About a third of the stories that are sent to us, make no sense to us! They make perfect sense to the customer---but not to us. Usually it's some "inside joke", the meaning of which we're not privy to and will never know. We print what you submit. Exactly. Period. Please note: This product page is written for those who wish to write their own newspaper story or article from scratch. If you submit your story from this page, your story will not automatically feature ANY image or picture, unless you supply them. You must supply your own image or picture from this page. If, on the other hand, you want to use the image that is featured with one of our pre-written stories, you must submit your article from that product page. To browse our pre-written stories, which come with their own images or pictures, please start from our home page and choose the category of story you're looking for. Thank you... If you want to write your story from scratch:  Depending on which size you choose, you may also fill in such things as the newspaper name, the newspaper headline, the article title, the article date, and a bunch of other stuff. Most customers send a photo of the event they're describing, and also a photo of the individual (victim) they are writing about. This would be inset onto the main photo (we do that for you). Many folks choose not to use any photo at all. It's entirely up to you. If you decide to use one of our pre-written stories:  You need to figure out which one you're going to use. You should start at our home page (here) and begin browsing through the categories. When you've found the story you want to use, simply fill in the form, click the SUBMIT button and follow the prompts. You may use the complete text of the article you've ordered, or you may use bits and pieces of several of our pre-written stories (mix and match as you wish) to make one story. You may change our pre-written story in any way you desire. It's entirely up to you. We don't care what you write, or how you write it. We do not read your material in any case. You may send us a picture of your victim to be used as an inset on the main image, or you may elect not to send us any pictures. By default we use the same image that appears in the sample; you may add an inset of your victim or not. You should fill in any of the spaces you want us to use with the text of your choosing. If you don't want certain things to be used (like the date, or the location, etc.), type NONE in the box. That's all there is to it.  You do not "have" to use a story at all. Some people only want a headline (usually movie productions and playwrights). Some people only want a picture with no story, not even a headline. It's entirely up to you.  Whatever you provide, we'll print.  Whatever you don't provide, obviously won't be printed.  When we receive your order, we'll arrange everything onto one of our templates. Once it's all arranged, we print, and then notify you when it's been shipped. You may specify and pay for rush delivery.

Shooting TargetsPersonalize with the Image of Your Choice TARGETS MEASURE ABOUT 24 X 27 INCHES. PRINTED ON WHITE POSTER PAPER.SUPPLY ANY IMAGE. WE'LL CUT IT OUT AND PUT YOUR IMAGE UNDER THE TARGET RINGS.PRICE FOR FIRST TARGET IS $22.95. BILL CLINTON, RICHARD NIXON, PAT PAULSEN, MARTHA STEWART, PEE WEE HERMAN, OSAMA BIN LADEN, THAT SADDAM GUY, YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW, YOUR TEACHER (OOPS, WASN'T THAT POLITICALLY INCORRECT!), YOUR EX, YOUR EX'S POODLE, YOUR EX'S CAT (OUR FAVORITE), YOUR LANDLORD, THAT "SPECIAL CO-WORKER", UNCLE BOB, UNCLE BOB'S FERRET, THE NEIGHBORHOOD CHILD MOLESTER, THE PUNK WHO RACES UP AND DOWN YOUR STREET VISITING HIS GIRLFRIEND, THE POSSIBILITIES ARE UNLIMITED. WE MIGHT SUGGEST YOU MAIL ONE TO SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN GIVING YOU A PARTICULARLY HARD TIME! CAN BE USED AS A TARGET FOR PISTOL, HANDGUN, RIFLE, SHOTGUN, AIR GUN, BB GUN, PELLET GUN, DARTS, BLOW-GUN, PAINTBALL, SLINGSHOT, LONG BOW, CROSS-BOW, PUMPKIN CANNON (PUMPKIN CHUCKER), RPG, LASER, CATAPULT, POTATO GUN, WATER BALLOON LAUNCHER, ETC. WE'LL CUT OUT THE IMAGE OF YOUR CHOICE (REMOVE ALL BACKGROUND AND SURROUNDING STUFF) AND COMPOSITE THE IMAGE INTO THE TARGET BEHIND THE RINGS (AS SHOWN IN THE EXAMPLES BELOW). SORRY, THE IMAGES BELOW ARE NOT AVAILABLE FOR SALE. NO COPYRIGHTED OR TRADEMARKED IMAGES, PLEASE.  VOLUME DISCOUNTS, QUANTITIES:   $22.95 (ONE TARGET)

Whole Size Newspaper Measure 23 X 27 inchesWhole Size is a regular newspaper, like you would buy at the store. Quantity 1 comes with 2 copies. Quantity 2 comes with 4 copies.How do I order?1: Look through the sample photos and choose a template. (please note the names of the templates do not print on your newspaper, they are there for reference only) 2: Fill in the forms with your information.3: Click Add to Cart.Done!You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You do NOT have to supply your photo, but it's better if you can (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated story text to complete the look and feel of perfect authenticity. Keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums. Send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, soon-to-be ex-friends and various and assorted victims!A Common Question:Will you edit or fix my mistakes?No. We don't anymore. In most cases, when we corrected someone's spelling, punctuation or grammar while setting up the template to print, we received a nasty email back from the customer a week later, explaining that "Grammmy" really was spelled with three M's in THEIR part of the country, or that they left that comma out on purpose, or that Billy Ray was one word, not two, or that "nuclear" was actually spelled nucluler" in eastern Florida, etc. You simply MUST proof-read your story before submitting it, and have a friend or relative proof-read it as well. Twice. Or more. But what if something you send us doesn't make sense? Won't we certainly correct it THEN? About a third of the stories that are sent to us, make no sense to us! They make perfect sense to the customer---but not to us. Usually it's some "inside joke", the meaning of which we're not privy to and will never know.We print what you submit. Exactly. Period.Please note:This product page is written for those who wish to write their own newspaper story or article from scratch. If you submit your story from this page, your story will not automatically feature ANY image or picture, unless you supply them. You must supply your own image or picture from this page. If, on the other hand, you want to use the image that is featured with one of our pre-written stories, you must submit your article from that product page.To browse our pre-written stories, which come with their own images or pictures, please start from our home page and choose the category of story you're looking for.Thank you...If you want to write your story from scratch: Depending on which size you choose, you may also fill in such things as the newspaper name, the newspaper headline, the article title, the article date, and a bunch of other stuff. Most customers send a photo of the event they're describing, and also a photo of the individual (victim) they are writing about. This would be inset onto the main photo (we do that for you). Many folks choose not to use any photo at all. It's entirely up to you.If you decide to use one of our pre-written stories: You need to figure out which one you're going to use. You should start at our home page (here) and begin browsing through the categories. When you've found the story you want to use, simply fill in the form, click the SUBMIT button and follow the prompts. You may use the complete text of the article you've ordered, or you may use bits and pieces of several of our pre-written stories (mix and match as you wish) to make one story. You may change our pre-written story in any way you desire. It's entirely up to you. We don't care what you write, or how you write it. We do not read your material in any case. You may send us a picture of your victim to be used as an inset on the main image, or you may elect not to send us any pictures. By default we use the same image that appears in the sample; you may add an inset of your victim or not. You should fill in any of the spaces you want us to use with the text of your choosing. If you don't want certain things to be used (like the date, or the location, etc.), type NONE in the box. That's all there is to it. You do not "have" to use a story at all. Some people only want a headline (usually movie productions and playwrights). Some people only want a picture with no story, not even a headline. It's entirely up to you. Whatever you provide, we'll print. Whatever you don't provide, obviously won't be printed. When we receive your order, we'll arrange everything onto one of our templates. Once it's all arranged, we print, and then notify you when it's been shipped.You may specify and pay for rush delivery.

Blank Book Customize with ANY Title or Send us Your Image for the Cover! Item Number --- BKB-05 ....The customizable style of our blank-page books. When you click the "Order" button, you'll be taken to a secure server which will process your shipping information and take your loot. Then you'll automatically go to a form where you'll type in the title of your choosing, the author, and where you can also include any image you want us to use on the cover. We'll then arrange all your stuff, make the picture and text look good, and manufacture the book. They are about 350 pages thick. All of our "blank book series" are softcovers and can not be distinguished from publishing house trade paperbacks. Cover Graphics May Vary Slightly. Size is roughly 3.75 inches wide, and about 6.5 inches tall (like a regular paperback). About 300 pages. This is a standard-size paperback book, professionally HAND crafted.All pages are BLANK. Only the cover graphic is shown above. You may create ANY title.

Giant Crossword Puzzle Party Giant Crossword Business Giant Crossword Lunch Room Giant Crossword Birthday Giant Crossword Christmas Giant Crossword Holiday Giant Crossword Anything you can think of! Choose either dry-erase or permanent print.Giant Crosswords for parties, events, advertising gimmicks... Post a Giant Crossword in your lunch area.Giant Crosswords make great wall posters forany waiting room where customers or patients are bored. Choose your own words and clues! Make your puzzle theme-based to bring attention toproduct lines, safety requirements, medical hygiene issues... Above puzzle demonstrates how tightly the words tend to pack, and how large the squares tend to be using a clue list of approximately 20 words. Media size roughly 40 x 54. Above puzzle demonstrates how tightly the words tend to pack, and how largethe squares tend to be using a clue list of approximately 50 words. Media size roughly 40 x 54. Above puzzle demonstrates how tightly the words tend to pack, and how largethe squares tend to be using a clue list of approximately 140 words. Media size roughly 40 x 54. Puzzles are approximately 42 x 54 inches. During the payment process select media (dry-erase or poster paper). We suggest a minimum of 20 words, and a maximum of, say, 200. Note that the more words you use, the tighter the puzzle will be packed, with more intersecting words and smaller squares. Fewer words will result in fewer cross-connected words, and larger square sizes. See examples above. Plain-Jane or COOL? What does this mean? "Plain-Jane" puzzle, or a "Creative" puzzle. Plain-Jane: In the "Plain-Jane" version, the grids appear as shown above, with the background blocks being plain old black, and the letter blocks being plain old white. No "artistic" touches are applied to the image whatsoever. It's a traditional crossword. Creative: If you choose "Creative" for your puzzle type, then we get to have fun. No two "creative-style" puzzles are alike. They may look something like one of the samples shown below, or they may look nothing like any of the samples shown below. The "Plain-Jane" style is a KNOWN. You can see, above, exactly what you're getting. No surprises. No risk. The "Creative" style involves risk. You might not like what we create! Or you might love it, and consider it a treasured art piece. Well, maybe not. But you can only be sure of one thing if you choose to grant us "Creative" license: It will be DIFFERENT.   Above and below: Samples of "Creative-Style" puzzles -- no two are ever alike  Your completed puzzle will be in the format shown below (either a "Plain-Jane" or a "Creative" style). We print you the puzzle, a clue sheet and an answer sheet.   "Creative Style" Sample "Plain-Jane Style" Sample How do I make the clues and answers? Type them into the form at the top. Type the Clue first then a comma, then a space, and then the answer. Just like this: PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, OBAMA CAPITAL OF CALIFORNIA, SACREMENTO The clue is first, then the comma, a space and then the answer. Please type each clue and answer on a separate line, just like the example in blue.You can put in as many as you like. The minimum to create a puzzle is about 15 and the maximum is about 250. NOTE: Poster paper puzzles may only be used once (unless you plan to complete them in pencil or some other erasable marker). Puzzles printed on dry-erase media may be completed over and over, pretty-much forever. We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc.."Giant Crossword Puzzles" generally leave our printer within 2-3 day and can be delivered the same week you order them. Please contact us first to verify delivery date.

Tabloid Size Newspapers Measure 13.5 H x 21.5 W   Quantity 1 comes with 2 copies. Quantity 2 comes with 4 copies.     You know how hard it is to find a TRULY unique gift. Well, now you've found one. Representing some of the finest, most outrageous entertainment you'll ever find for pocket change. You do NOT have to supply your photo (same price either way). The backs of each article are covered in generic, unrelated text to complete the look and feel of absolute authenticity. You'll keep these for years in scrapbooks and picture albums, you'll send them to relatives, friends, co-workers, ex-friends and victims!       A Common Question:   Will you edit or fix my mistakes?   No. We used to do that. We don't anymore. In about two cases out of five, when we corrected someone's spelling, punctuation or grammar while setting up the template to print, we'd receive a semi-nasty email back from the customer a week later, explaining that "Grammmy" really was spelled with three M's in THEIR family, or that they left that comma out on purpose, or that Billy Ray was one word, not two, that nefarious was actually spelled nefarius in eastern Florida, etc. etc. ad nauseam---and we'd end up having to send them a whole new order for free. So, no, we don't change or correct anything. We'd like to; it drives us crazy not to be able to; but we've learned the hard way to keep our mitts off the content of your story. That's why it's doubly and triply important for you to proof-read your story before submitting, and have a friend or relative proof-read it as well. Twice. But what if something you send us doesn't make sense. Won't we correct it then? About a third of the stories that are submitted to us, make no sense to us! They make perfect sense to the author---but not to us. Usually it's some "inside joke", the meaning of which we're not privy to. We cannot possibly be in the business of second-guessing the author's intentions in every instance that's unclear to us. We print what you supply. Period.   If you want to write your story from scratch: Depending on which size you choose, you may also fill in such things as the newspaper name, the newspaper headline, the article title, the article date, and a bunch of other stuff. Most people would send a photo of the event they are describing, and also a photo of the individual they're writing about. This would be inset onto the main photo (we do that for you). Many people choose not to use any photo at all. It's entirely up to you. If we receive a photo, we'll use it. If not, we won't! If you decide to use one of our pre-written stories: You need to figure out which one you're going to use. You should start at our home page (here) and begin browsing through the categories. When you've found the story you want to use, simply fill in the form, click the SUBMIT button and follow the prompts. You may use the complete text of the article you've ordered, or you may use bits and pieces of several of our pre-written stories to make one story. You may change our pre-written story in any way you desire. It's entirely up to you. We don't care what you write, or how you write it. We do not read your material in any case. You may send us a picture of your victim to be used as an inset on the main image, or you may elect not to send us any pictures. By default we use the same image that appears in the sample; you may add an inset of your victim or not. You should fill in any of the spaces you want us to use with the text of your choosing. If you don't want certain things to be used (like the date, or the location, etc.), type NONE in the box. That's all there is to it.You do not "have" to use a story at all. Some people only want a headline (usually movie companies and playwrights). Some people only want a picture with no story, not even a headline. It's entirely up to you. Whatever you provide, we'll print. Whatever you don't provide, obviously won't be printed. When we receive your order, we'll arrange everything onto one of our templates. Once it's all arranged, we print, and then notify you when it's been shipped. You'll receive your order a few days after that. You may specify and pay for rush delivery.

Did we all go to bed one night and wake up the next morning to find the world had gone INSANE? Granted, the rank of Knight Bachelor doesn't demand much of the recipient, but still... In olden days Royalty Knighted the strongest and the bravest because it wanted these guys on its side in case of war. Knights were called upon to be leaders in the defense of the Kingdom. Now you too can be a KNIGHT!!! You get two copies, personalized with your information, printed on glossy paper. For Entertainment Purposes Only

OLD WEST "WANTED POSTERS" ARE $29.95AND MEASURE ROUGHLY 13.5 X 19 INCHES EACH YOU RECEIVE THREE 3 IDENTICAL PERSONALIZED POSTERS POSTERS ARE PRINTED IN STRIPS OF THREE AS SHOWN.THE STRIP MEASURES ROUGHLY 36" WIDE BY 19" TALL.   THIS POSTER WAS DESIGNED PRIMARILY FOR THE ROASTING OF FRIENDS---PUT A FEW UP AT THEIR LOCAL WATERING HOLE, AT THE BIRTHDAY BASH, OR ON THE BULLETIN BOARD AT WORK. PERHAPS THERE'S ROOM ON THE CORKBOARD AT THE LOCAL SUPERMARKET. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW WHAT OPPORTUNITIES WILL PRESENT THEMSELVES. SIMPLY FILL IN THE CATEGORIES YOU WANT TO USE AND SUBMIT IT. YOU MAY USE ANY DATA YOU WISH---YOU CAN BE SERIOUS, OR SILLY (AS IN THE ABOVE EXAMPLE). YOU SHOULD ALSO ATTACH A PICTURE OF YOUR VICTIM ER.... SUBJECT. POSTERS ARE PRINTED ON HEAVY POSTER PAPER, AND ARE SHIPPED IN A ROLL TUBE, NEVER FOLDED. LARGER SIZES, UP TO 42 BY 100 INCHES EACH, ARE AVAILABLE BY SPECIAL REQUEST.

Now You Too Can Have John Kerry’s Purple Owie Award Got a paper cut? Painful hangnail? Hemorrhoids? Indigestion? A Pimple? You qualify for a Purple Owie Award Item Number — FC-47 Some people don’t know if they like John Kerry or not. He doesn’t seem to have a lot to say. Why? Because he’s too busy boasting about his Purple Heart. For a guy who couldn’t wait to cut the thing up in public after Vietnam, he sure likes to work it into conversation when he thinks it’ll pull in a few votes. Make up your mind, John! Either you’re proud of the thing or you’re not! We have questions about the severity of John’s “wounds” for which he received his Purple Heart(s). We sort of wish the United States Armed Forces wouldn’t hand the real ones out like candy. A Purple Heart should be a serious award. It means the recipient has put it all on the line for his country (you and us), and almost lost the game. We feel that when Purple Hearts are given out like aspirin, it detracts from the value of the award when given for real injuries, like lost limbs. You don’t have to go to war and get shot to get this Purple Heart. You can have it for a few bucks. -Or, heck, maybe John Kerry’ll give you his. Certificates are personalized with: Victim’s name Injury(s) suffered When and where “A Unique and welcome gift for anyone with an owie!” Gold seal is pressure-embossed (not printed). 8.5 x 11 inches. Printed on heavy glossy stock, this particular certificate is highly detailed. (that’s John Kerry from our “Morning After” collection on the medal) The perfect alternative to a cheesy “Get Well” card! Tape this on the wall in the patient’s room and watch the staff provide slightly better care. After all, what nurse can forget the patient who’s won the Purple Owie Award? Know someone who just broke an arm, leg, skull, their ego? For friends recovering from an illness, injury, operation… Forget cheesy “get-well” cards. Make ’em smile with a Purple Owie Award! We’re not sure how fond we are of George W. Bush these days, but My God! Give us something better than Frank Burns and Howdy Doody! Give us more than a cry-baby 2nd Louie and a smarmy Tele-vangelist! Give us something more than Ted Baxter and the Cheshire Cat! And the government wonders why no one votes. FOR WHOM?!? We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc.. FC-47, “Purple Owie Award” generally ships within 1-2 days. What our customers say about us. $16.95 for 2 Item Number — FC-47

“Kevorkian Gift Certificates” Give the Gift that Keeps on Giving. …For that “Special Someone”… Item Number — FC-86 You’ll Receive Two (2) Identical Personalized Certificates Note: Border color and/or design may differ slightly from sample Item FC-86 The gold seal is raised and embossed. Of course, the big, fat Copyright mark that appears across the middle of the article is removed for you. Some folks might get the idea we don’t like Dr. Kevorkian. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In point of fact, we have the greatest respect for the man, and for his beliefs. We agree with his philosophies. We support his opinions. We just wish he would have had the insight to hire an attorney! But then, almost certainly, so does he. By making this purchase, you agree that you understand that these are practical jokes, and you also agree to use them in a responsible manner, to never use them illegally, or even immorally. If you’re intent is to send one to your favorite sleazy politician, it is your responsibility to make sure they understand it’s a joke. You (probably) don’t want the Secret Service knocking on your door—or more likely, bashing it in and beating the hell out of you. Some folks may not have a refined and sophisticated sense of humor like you and us. Item Number — FC-86  $16.95 for Two

You'll Receive Two (2) Identical Certificates May be used to replacing the boring certificate issued by most states Or use as a gag wedding or shower gift Fake Marriage Certificate Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stamp in the upper left These are not legal documents and will not be accepted by any government agency as such People often ask us, "How real do these certificates look, anyhow?" There's no way to answer that since everyone's idea of "authentic" is different. In some cases we didn't try to make them look authentic. People also often ask if fake marriage certificates are "legal".  Legal to own for fun? Yes. (but check your local laws to be sure) Legal to use for fraudulent purposes? No.   Our fake marriage certificates are offered for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and are so stamped. We can't control what you do with them when you receive them, and we're not liable for your actions. If we sell you a pretty polished rock, and you go out and throw it through someone's window, we're not liable for that, either. These certificates are designed for couples who were disappointed (even appalled) at the poor quality of the certificates issued to them by the state. We just wanted to offer something nicer. Or weirder. Or fun-ner. Certificates may be ordered blank, or completed with any data you provide. If you want any of the fields left blank, just type NONE. We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc.. "Fake Marriage Certificate" generally ships within 1-2 days.   WARNING: This item ships to the REGISTERED BILLING ADDRESS ONLY! More original than a musty old greeting card, the perfect replacement for birthday cards, way more fun than a silly eCard, and one or two of our selections might even get you out of writing that MUSHY LOVE POEM... fake marriage certificate, pretty marriage certificate, personalized marriage certificate, certificate of matrimony, certificate of marriage, bogus marriage certificate, make your own marriage certificate, marriage certificates of movie stars, marry a movie star, surprise your mother, aesthetically pleasing marriage certificate, document recovery of damaged documents and marriage license.     

Fake Certificates are $16.95 and Measure 8.5 x 11 Inches You’ll Receive Two (2) Identical Certificates May be used to replace the boring certificate issued by most statesOr use as a gag wedding or shower gift Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stamp in the upper left These are not legal documents and will not be accepted by any government agency as such. The spaces in the original version of this document were always handwritten—not typed. This certificate may only be ordered BLANK. People often ask us, “How real do these certificates look, anyhow?” There’s no way to answer that since everyone’s idea of “authentic” is different. In some cases we didn’t try to make them look authentic. People also often ask if fake marriage certificates are “legal”. Legal to own for fun? Yes. (but check your local laws to be sure) Legal to use for fraudulent purposes? No. Our fake marriage certificates are offered for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and are so stamped. We can’t control what you do with them when you receive them, and we’re not liable for your actions. If we sell you a pretty polished rock, and you go out and throw it through someone’s window, we’re not liable for that, either. These certificates are designed for couples who were disappointed (even appalled) at the poor quality of the certificates issued to them by the state. We just wanted to offer something nicer. Or weirder. Or fun-ner. This particular certificate may only be ordered BLANK This item may NOT be personalized WARNING: This item ships to the REGISTERED BILLING ADDRESS ONLY!

Generic Books “Everything I Know About ______ “The ORIGINAL Fake Blank Book — May be Personalized We Hate Copycats: Read More About This Item Item Number — BKB-02View Next Item Everything I Know About….(customizable blank books) This is the customizable version of our blank fake books. They’re about 300-350 blank pages. All of our “blank book series” are softcovers and can not be distinguished from trade paperbacks. Cover Graphics May Vary Slightly. Size is roughly 3.75 inches wide, and about 6.5 inches tall (like a regular paperback). About 300-350 pages. Although we are a hard-cover book binding company, we don’t offer this series in hard cover. We feel the paperback cover offers far more versatility, customization potential and class than a simple foil-stamped (or paper covered) hard cover, which is now offered by various copycat companies. We’ve watched some of these companies attempt to offer paperbacks, but the product they produced was embarassingly poor. It’s too bad that people and companies can’t come up with their OWN ideas and products, instead of leeching from others. We wonder what the copycats tell their children; worse, we wonder what they TEACH their children!. This is a standard-size paperback book, professionally crafted.All pages are BLANK. Only the cover graphic is shown above. Go HERE to see an example of a finished book. Examples of creative titles: Everything I know About MONEY (by Nancy Smith) (your wife)Everything I know About SEX (by John Q. Doe) (your husband)Everything I know About HOME REPAIR (by your man the geek)Everything I know About GAMBLING (by Bob Jones) (right after his trip to Vegas)Everything I know About AUTO REPAIR (by your boyfriend) (after he worked on your car) Stock No. BKB-02 Questions? Try Our FAQs First!Return to Book IndexEmail Item Number — BKB-02 Any title you enter into the form below will print with this phrase preceding it: “Everything I know About…” If you meant to order a book WITHOUT this preceding phrase, please click here. Everything I know About FLYING (after your friend landed gear-up at his home airport)Everything I know About COOKING (after your mother-in-law’s disastrous dinner party)Everything I know About DIPLOMACY (by YOU!) (after the fight you started the other night)Everything I know About COMPUTERS (by the guy who supposedly fixed yours)Everything I know About SOFTWARE PROGRAMMING (by Bill Gates) (oops) Everything I know About SPOTTING SPEED TRAPS (after your hubby’s huge ticket)Everything I know About ROMANCE (by your EX boyfriend)Everything I know About FISHING (after your husband gets skunked)Everything I know About DEFENSIVE DRIVING (after that fender-bender)Everything I know About BRIDGE (by the losing club) Everything I know About HUNTING (by, who else, your husband)Everything I know About YACHTING (after that incident on the rocks)Everything I know About SELF DEFENSE (after your boyfriend gets mugged)Everything I know About HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS (ahem)Everything I know About WORKING HARD (for the slacker in your office) Everything I know About GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT (by you know who)Everything I know About LOGIC (by your stupid, STUPID boyfriend)Everything I know About FORGIVENESS (by your stupid, STUPID boyfriend)Everything I know About LOVE (by the jerk who dumped you)Everything I know About PERSONAL HYGIENE (by the stinker at work) Everything I know About HONESTY (by the stinker at work)Everything I know About COMPETENCE and WORK ETHICS (by the stinker at work)Everything I know About ABSTINENCE (by the your cousin the slut)Everything I know About HONOR (by the stinker at work)Everything I know About MONOGAMY (by you-know-who) Everything I know About MEN (by your stupid girlfriend)Everything I know About FOREPLAY (by your ham-fisted boyfriend)Everything I know About FOOTBALL (after their team loses big)Everything I know About GOLF (by your partner who cost you the tournament)Everything I know About COMMITMENT (by your cheating ex) Everything I know About DISCRETION (by the friend who spilled your secret)Everything I know About MAKING BABIES (by your son-in-law with the low sperm count)Everything I know About HARD WORK (by your lazy nephew)Everything I know About FRIENDSHIP (by your turncoat ex-bud)Everything I know About SAFE SEX (by your friend with the, uh, social disease) Everything I know About STAYING FIT (by the fat slob who’s been harassing you)Everything I know About THE LAW (by the judge who stupidly ruled against you)Everything I know About BIRTH CONTROL (by your friend who’s pregnant AGAIN)Everything I know About THE MATING HABITS OF THE INVISIBLE PERUVIAN IMP FISHEverything I know About PASSION in MARRIAGE (by your frigid wife) Everything I know About RELAXATION (by your workaholic mate, friend or relative)Everything I know About DRINKING (by your coworker who barfed at the office party)Everything I know About FASHION (by the worst-dressed person you know)Everything I know About ANOREXIA (by the fat slob who’s been harassing you)Everything I know About FAILURE (by the winner in your life) Everything I know About INTELLIGENT THINKING (you know who it’s by)Everything I know About SUCCESS (by the dismal failure in your life)Everything I know About MANNERS & ETIQUETTE (by the slob in your life)Everything I know About THE SOCIAL GRACES (by the social clod in your life)Everything I know About COMPASSION (by your boss) Everything I know About FINE DINING (by Ronald McDonald)Everything I know About SKIING (by your friend who broke a leg)Everything I know About DEALING DRUGS (by your cousin who got busted)Everything I know About COVERT ASSASSINATIONS (by a really mild mannered friend)Everything I know About LSD (by your 82 y/o grandmother) Everything I know About SKYDIVING (by your 83 y/o grandfather)Everything I know About SEXUAL BONDAGE & TORTURE (by the prude in your life)Everything I know About THE HONOR ROLL (by the flunker in your life)Everything I know About EDUCATION (by the high school dropout in your life)Everything I know About QUANTUM PHYSICS (by just about anyone in your life) Everything I know About THE MONASTERY (by your playboy friend)Everything I know About POKER (by the guy you took for $1100 the other night)Everything I know About BOWLING (for the gutter-ball King)Everything I know About DEEP SEA DIVING (by your aunt who never learned to swim)Everything I know About LOOSE WOMEN & BOOZE (by the minister with a sense of humor) Everything I know About BRITNEY SPEARS’ BEHIND (for the teenager who lusts for Britney)Everything I know About HONG KONG’S NIGHTLIFE (for your Puritan friend)Everything I know About THE MUSTANG RANCH & BROTHEL (by another Puritan friend)Everything I know About LIVING HEALTHY (by the upcoming triple bypass patient in your life)Everything I know About MEDICINE (by the doctor in your life) Everything I know About ALIEN ABDUCTIONS (by just about anyone)Everything I know About TEENAGE GIRLS (by any teenage boy)Everything I know About WILLPOWER (by the smoker in your life)Everything I know About SOBRIETY (by the alcoholic in your life)Everything I know About PEACEFUL CONFLICT RESOLUTION (by the bar brawler in your life) Everything I know About ORGIES (by the virgin in your life)Everything I know About FINE MUSIC (by the punk-rocker in your life)Everything I know About GOOD CREDIT (by the slob who owes you money)Everything I know About SKYDIVING (for the aunt afraid of heights)Everything I know About SNIFFING GLUE (by the health nut in your life) Everything I know About THE DEVIL (by the born-again in your life)Everything I know About OPTIMISM (by the pessimist in your life)Everything I know About POLYSULFIDE ADHESIVES (by just about anyone in your life)Everything I know About OPULENT WEALTH (by just about anyone in your life)Everything I know About SIMPLE HUMAN COURTESY (by the asshole in your life) Everything I know About EVERYTHING (by the know-it-all in your life)Everything I know About OVERCOMING ADVERSITY (by the incurable whiner)Everything I know About REALITY (by a ditzy airhead)Everything I know About HOLDING MY LIQUOR (by the office-party slut)Everything I know About GOOD TASTE (by the social terrorist in your life) Everything I know About ANIMAL RIGHTS (by the shameless carnivore in your life)Everything I know About THE GOLDEN RULE (by the jackass in your life)Everything I know About THE SECOND COMMANDMENT (by the sailor’s-mouth in your life)Everything I know About THE FIFTH COMMANDMENT (for the wanton killer in your life)Everything I know About THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT (thou shall not commit adultery) Everything I know About THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT (thou shall not steal)Everything I know About THE EIGHTH COMMANDMENT (for the lying weasel in your life)Everything I know About THE TEN COMMANDMENTS (by the total slime-ball)Everything I know About BEING GOOD (by the bad girl)Everything I know About BALANCING MY CHECKBOOK (by the habitually overdrawn) Everything I know About INSECTS OF THE CONGO (by who knows)Everything I know About SEX, DRUGS and ROCK & ROLL (by the nice girl)Everything I know About THE RAPID TREATMENT OF SNAKEBITE WOUNDSEverything I know About PERSONAL FINANCIAL SECURITY (by the pauper in your life)Everything I know About MAKING IT BIG IN STOCKS & BONDS (by the guy who lost big) Everything I know About MODERN WARFARE (by the Iraqi Army)Everything I know About UNBIASED NEWS REPORTING (by Al-Jazeera TV)Everything I know About UNBIASED NEWS REPORTING (by CNN)Everything I know About CREDIBILITY (by Geraldo Rivera)Everything I know About MODESTY and GOOD TASTE (by Madonna) Everything I know About BABIES Everything I know About PARENTING

  Fill out the form and we will add it to your existing fake newspaper in your shopping cart.   A Common Question: Will you edit or fix my mistakes? No. We don't anymore. In most cases, when we corrected someone's spelling, punctuation or grammar while setting up the template to print, we received a nasty email back from the customer a week later, explaining that "Grammmy" really was spelled with three M's in THEIR part of the country, or that they left that comma out on purpose, or that Billy Ray was one word, not two, or that "nuclear" was actually spelled nucluler" in eastern Florida, etc. You simply MUST proof-read your story before submitting it, and have a friend or relative proof-read it as well. Twice. Or more.  But what if something you send us doesn't make sense? Won't we certainly correct it THEN? About a third of the stories that are sent to us, make no sense to us! They make perfect sense to the customer---but not to us. Usually it's some "inside joke", the meaning of which we're not privy to and will never know. We print what you submit.  Please note: This product page is written for those who wish to write their own newspaper story or article from scratch. If you submit your story from this page, your story will not automatically feature ANY image or picture, unless you supply them. You must supply your own image or picture from this page. If, on the other hand, you want to use the image that is featured with one of our pre-written stories, you must submit your article from that product page. To browse our pre-written stories, which come with their own images or pictures, please start from our home page and choose the category of story you're looking for. Thank you... If you want to write your story from scratch:  Depending on which size you choose, you may also fill in such things as the newspaper name, the newspaper headline, the article title, the article date, and a bunch of other stuff. Most customers send a photo of the event they're describing, and also a photo of the individual (victim) they are writing about. This would be inset onto the main photo (we do that for you). Many folks choose not to use any photo at all. It's entirely up to you.    

Fake Certificates are $16.95 and Measure 8.5 x 11 Inches You’ll Receive Two (2) Identical Certificates May be used as a gag stag party gift or to roast a friend on their birthday, etc. Personalized Fake Diplomas Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stamp in the upper left These are not legal documents and will not be accepted by any government agency as such.In fact, you’ll probably end up in “TerroristJail” if you try to pass one. We’re sorry we even have to add this caveat: NO! We will NOT fill your order for a diploma from the “School of Engineering” in Dubai or Iraq! Our certificates are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. If it’s not obvious that you intend to use this product for humorous purposes, your order will be cancelled. George W. Bush Graduates from Ninja School NOTICE: Please do not inquire about one-of-a-kind certificates. We make no certificates that do not have a mass market Small print reads: Has Successfully Completed the Course of Study Prescribed by this Institution and is Therefore Entitled to this Diploma AS Testimony Whereof We Have Hereunder Affixed Our Signature(s) This ________ Day of ____________, _____, at ___________________________ Ninja School, School of Ass-Kissing, Pervert School, Makeout School, Astronaut School, Spelling School, Niceness School, School of Tact, Stoopid School, Sex School, Computer Skool, Liar’s School, Drinker’s School, Crazy Driver’s Education, How to Skip School School… You can think of millions more. Frame one and display it next to the professional diplomas in your office to see how long it takes before someone notices. People often ask us, “How real do these certificates look, anyhow?” There’s no way to answer that since everyone’s idea of “authentic” is different. In some cases we didn’t try to make them look authentic. People also often ask if fake diploma certificates are “legal”.Legal to own for fun? Yes. (but check your local laws to be sure)Legal to use for fraudulent purposes? No.Our fake certificates are offered for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and are so stamped. We can’t control what you do with them when you receive them, and we’re not liable for your actions. If we sell you a pretty polished rock, and you go out and throw it through someone’s window, we’re not liable for that, either. NOTE: The embossed seal says, “Certified [SEAL] Document”. You’ll receive three certificates, all of which are printed on “High Security Paper”, which is a peculiar stock into which many anti-copy schemes are incorporated. For instance: (1) When held under a black light a series of tiny red threads become visible.(2) A large “VOID” appears in the background in four positions when the document has been photocopied.(3) Micro text is printed across the entire document which disappears when rubbed.(4) “OFFICIAL DOCUMENT” icon disappears when rubbed.(5) Double Ghost Watermark is printed on backs.(6) Blue Security Background.(7) Security Information border. If all security features are intact, the document has not been copied. We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc..“Fake Diploma Certificate” generally ships within 1-2 days. What our customers say about us. More Certificates NOTE: When filling in your personalization formyou may NOT use the name of any existing school! Certificate Number FC-24   RETURN POLICY   TERMS OF SERVICE   CONTACT US   ABOUT US FAKE DIPLOMAS Fake Certificates are $16.95 and Measure 8.5 x 11 Inches You’ll Receive Two (2) Identical Certificates May be used as a gag stag party gift or to roast a friend on their birthday, etc. Personalized Fake Diplomas Certificates are pressure embossed with a notary-type stamp in the upper left These are not legal documents and will not be accepted by any government agency as such.In fact, you’ll probably end up in “TerroristJail” if you try to pass one. We’re sorry we even have to add this caveat: NO! We will NOT fill your order for a diploma from the “School of Engineering” in Dubai or Iraq! Our certificates are for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. If it’s not obvious that you intend to use this product for humorous purposes, your order will be cancelled. George W. Bush Graduates from Ninja School NOTICE: Please do not inquire about one-of-a-kind certificates. We make no certificates that do not have a mass market Small print reads: Has Successfully Completed the Course of Study Prescribed by this Institution and is Therefore Entitled to this Diploma AS Testimony Whereof We Have Hereunder Affixed Our Signature(s) This ________ Day of ____________, _____, at ___________________________ Ninja School, School of Ass-Kissing, Pervert School, Makeout School, Astronaut School, Spelling School, Niceness School, School of Tact, Stoopid School, Sex School, Computer Skool, Liar’s School, Drinker’s School, Crazy Driver’s Education, How to Skip School School… You can think of millions more. Frame one and display it next to the professional diplomas in your office to see how long it takes before someone notices. People often ask us, “How real do these certificates look, anyhow?” There’s no way to answer that since everyone’s idea of “authentic” is different. In some cases we didn’t try to make them look authentic. People also often ask if fake diploma certificates are “legal”.Legal to own for fun? Yes. (but check your local laws to be sure)Legal to use for fraudulent purposes? No.Our fake certificates are offered for ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY and are so stamped. We can’t control what you do with them when you receive them, and we’re not liable for your actions. If we sell you a pretty polished rock, and you go out and throw it through someone’s window, we’re not liable for that, either. NOTE: The embossed seal says, “Certified [SEAL] Document”. You’ll receive three certificates, all of which are printed on “High Security Paper”, which is a peculiar stock into which many anti-copy schemes are incorporated. For instance: (1) When held under a black light a series of tiny red threads become visible.(2) A large “VOID” appears in the background in four positions when the document has been photocopied.(3) Micro text is printed across the entire document which disappears when rubbed.(4) “OFFICIAL DOCUMENT” icon disappears when rubbed.(5) Double Ghost Watermark is printed on backs.(6) Blue Security Background.(7) Security Information border. If all security features are intact, the document has not been copied. We accept MasterCard and VISA, etc..“Fake Diploma Certificate” generally ships within 1-2 days. What our customers say about us. More Certificates NOTE: When filling in your personalization formyou may NOT use the name of any existing school! Certificate Number FC-24 BUY IT The image below depicts all customizable fields. They’re shown in Arial red in this example, but print in Old English dark blue (like the word “DIPLOMA”).The image above depicts all customizable fields. They’re shown in Arial red in this example, but print in Old English dark blue (like the word “DIPLOMA”).